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 "Teens need their space but at the same time a parent should know what they’re doing. If the kid feels like you do not trust him, he will not trust you. Period."
— Anonymous teen

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Help for Divorced or Single Parents

If you are a parent who is single, divorced, or separated, raising your teenager may bring additional challenges. If you know or suspect that your teenager is using drugs, you may want to reach out to your extended family and friends for help with this problem. Although difficult, you may also need to talk with your ex-spouse, or the child’s parent, in order to create a consistent plan for establishing and enforcing a no-tolerance drug policy.

Firmly and warmly make it very clear that he or she will not tolerate drug or alcohol use by your teen. Identify the consequences if he or she does use. All parents find it hard to set and enforce rules, but it’s particularly hard for single parents who are hesitant and don’t want to disrupt the balance of the relationship with their teen. For these parents, it might help to commiserate with your teen. For example you could say, I know it’s difficult that I have to make these rules. But I wouldn’t be a good parent if I didn’t take care of and protect your safety.

Also remember to be available to listen if your teen is having difficulties dealing with your divorce. Use consistent discipline in your home and attempt to communicate with your child’s father/mother in order to continue to enforce the same rules in both households. Make clear rules about curfews and be consistent about asking your teen which friends he/she is hanging out with. Be particularly attentive about knowing where your teenager is after school, especially if you are working long hours. Lastly, continue to help your child grow his/her relationships with grandparents, cousins, uncles, and aunts in order for him/her to have valuable role models besides yourself.

For specific tips on starting conversation with your teen, read these conversations.

For more information on building support groups, visit our Get Help area.

For more information, download the brochure, “Suspect You Teen is Using Drugs or Drinking? -- A Brief Guide to Action for Parents” (PDF).