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"Teens need their space but at the same time a parent should know what they’re doing. If the kid feels like you do not trust him, he will not trust you. Period."
— Anonymous teen
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Laying Down the Rules — Tips for Parents
 Parents,
you are the first line of defense when it comes to your child’s
drug use or drinking. And you do make a difference! Nearly two-thirds
of teenagers see great risk of upsetting their parents or losing the
respect of family and friends if they smoke marijuana or use other drugs.
There are some simple steps you can take to keep track of your child’s
activities. Of course, your kids might not like you keeping tabs on where
they are and what they’re doing. It won’t be a democracy,
and it shouldn’t be, according to many parenting experts. In the
end, it’s not pestering, it’s parenting.
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Set
rules. Let your teen know that drug and alcohol use
is unacceptable and that these rules are set to keep him or her safe.
Set limits with clear
consequences for breaking them. |
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Praise and reward good behavior
for compliance and enforce consequences for non-compliance. |
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Know
where your teen is and what he or she will be doing
during unsupervised time. Research shows that teens with unsupervised
time
are three
times more likely to use marijuana or other drugs. Unsupervised teens
are also more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as underage
drinking, sexual activity, and cigarette smoking than other teens.
This is particularly important after school, in the evening hours,
and
also
when school
is out during the summer or holidays. |
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Talk
to your teen. While
shopping or riding in the car, casually ask him how things are going
at school, about his friends, what his plans are for the weekend,
etc.. |
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Keep
them busy — especially between 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. and
into the evening hours. Engage your teen in after-school activities.
Enroll
your child in a supervised educational program or a sports league.
Research shows that teens who are involved in constructive, adult-supervised
activities are less likely to use drugs than other teens. |
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Check
on your teenager. Occasionally
check in to see that your kids are where they say they’re going
to be and that they are spending time with whom they say they are with. |
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Establish
a "core values statement" for your family. Consider
developing a family mission statement that reflects your family’s
core values. This might be discussed and created during a family
meeting
or over a weekend meal together. Talking about what
they stand for is particularly important at a time when teens are
pressured daily by external influencers on issues like drugs, sex,
violence, or vandalism. If there is no compass to guide your kids,
the void will be filled by the strongest force. |
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Spend
time together as
a family regularly and be involved in your kid's lives. Create a
bond with your child. This builds up credit with
your child so that when you have to set limits or enforce consequences,
it’s
less stressful. |
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Take
time to learn the facts about marijuana and underage drinking and
talk to your teen about its harmful health, social, learning, and
mental
effects on young users. Visit the drug
information area of TheAntiDrug.com |
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Get
to know your teen’s
friends (and their parents) by inviting them over for dinner or talking
with them at your teen’s soccer practice, dance rehearsal,
or other activities. |
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Stay
in touch with the adult supervisors of your child (camp counselors,
coaches, employers, teachers) and have them inform you of any changes
in your teen. Warning signs of drug use include distance from family
and existing friends, hanging out with a new circle of friends, lack
of interest in personal appearance, or changes in eating or sleeping
habits. |
Get Advice In Your In-box: Sign up for the Parenting
Tips newsletter.
Download these parenting brochures:
Suspect Your Teen Is Using Drugs or Drinking? -- A Brief
Guide to Action for Parents (PDF).
Keeping Your Kids Drug-Free: A How-To Guide for Parents and
Caregivers (PDF). |
