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 "Teens need their space but at the same time a parent should know what they’re doing. If the kid feels like you do not trust him, he will not trust you. Period."
— Anonymous teen

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Helping a Kid Who’s Not Your Own

What Can I Do?

Get Educated. The first thing you can do is learn as much as you can.

• The National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign offers resourceful information and advice for parents via this Web site and www.Freevibe.com, a site primarily for teens.
  
• The National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (NCADI) will send free pamphlets and fact sheets that will help you learn the current thinking and scientific evidence on alcohol and drug use by teens. They can be reached at
  1-800-788-2800; Spanish: 1-877-746-3762 (24 hours, 7 days a week). Or visit their Web site at http://www.health.org/

Talk With the Teen. Tell him or her the truth — that you know or suspect he/she is using alcohol or marijuana. Be patient. Listen. Make your best effort to be non-judgmental about what the teen is telling you. Let him/her know that you wouldn’t bring up the topic if you didn’t care about him/her. You might be the one person who can reach this kid.

If you are a coach or a Scout leader, you might take the opportunity to talk to the group as a whole. Again, it doesn’t have to be fancy. Tell them that you’ve read some materials on alcohol and drug use by teens and tell them what your expectations are for them, along with what happens if they violate the rules. Tell them that, while you’re no expert, you have access to experts in the community and that if they need help, you’ll be there. Also know the signs so that you’re ready to ask the tough questions if you suspect that a teenager you know or work with is using drugs, alcohol or taking steroids.

If your organizing group has written rules regarding substance use, then you can seek guidance there. If it does not, this may be a good time to request that your organizing group develop such guidelines. When developing the rules, it should be noted that involvement in recreational activities actually helps kids stay away from drugs. Automatically kicking kids off teams or out of groups may not be the best response for teens as it may escalate their drug use.

For more information, download the brochure, "When It's Not Your Kid — How Do You Deal With Drug Use and Drinking?" (PDF).