No matter where children grow up or who their friends are, nearly all of them are confronted at some time or another by friends with bad ideas - ways of testing limits, getting in trouble, and doing things they'll regret later. It's not so hard saying, "No thanks, I have to go now" to a stranger. But it's a lot tougher when a teen's friend - especially one whose approval means a lot to him or her - tries to get them to do something they know is wrong.

Even "good kids" occasionally pester their friends into skipping a class or lying about why they were out together so late. But if friends or acquaintances entice your children to try marijuana, alcohol, or tobacco, the consequences can be more serious.

Get to know your teen's friends and their parents by inviting them over for dinner or talking with them at your teen's soccer practice, dance rehearsal or other activities. Stay in touch with the adult supervisors of your child (camp counselors, coaches, employers) and have them inform you of any changes in your teen. Warning signs of drug use include distance from family and existing friends, hanging out with a new circle of friends, lack of interest in personal appearance, or changes in eating or sleeping habits.

Talk to your teens about the situations they may face where they'll have to make a decision using drugs or alcohol. Practice possible answers and refusal skills with them.

Sometimes kids need clear words to help them stay away from risky situations. Following are some lines you can provide to your teen. In addition, this is also an opportunity to get your kids to think for themselves. Ask them what they would say or how they would act in risky situations.

What you must say if someone offers you drugs Advise your child on ways to always say no to drugs. Here's what they can say:

• "No, thanks. It's not for me."
• "I tried drinking and I threw up."
• "Why would I want to mess up a good thing?
• "That's illegal. I don't want to get into trouble."
• "I could get kicked off the team if anyone found out."

With the right words at the tip of their tongue, kids can assert their independence while making it clear that they're rejecting their friends' choices and not the friends themselves.

Source: The National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign's Behavior Change Expert Panel.

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