Be Honest
The most effective deterrent to drug use isn't the police, or prisons, or politicians - it's you. Kids
who learn about the risks of drug use from their parents are 36 percent less likely to smoke marijuana than kids who learn
nothing from them. If you talk to your kids about the dangers of drug use, they are also 50 percent less likely to use inhalants,
and 56 percent less likely to use LSD - just because you took the time to talk to them. Research has also shown that kids want to
hear what their parents have to say - in fact, 74 percent of fourth graders wish their parents would talk to them about
drugs.
Your teen asks you the question you've feared - did you ever do drugs? You want to be honest because you love and respect them,
but, unless the answer is an unqualified "no," it's a difficult question. Regardless of your own history with drugs,
it's your responsibility to set limits for your teen and to tell them, "In this family drug use is not acceptable." What's
important is that you listen to your children and what they're asking - even if it's upsetting - try to avoid an argument.
If you have done drugs in the past, you can tell the truth without appearing to be a hypocrite because, at one time in their lives,
everyone has done something they wish they hadn't. Remember - the issue isn't your past; it's your children's future. The key is to look
at this as an opportunity - your children have come to you to discuss something that's troubling them. Listen to what they are saying.
What's important is to state firmly that you don't want them to do anything that's bad for them - especially smoking, drinking and drugs.
When you are ready to talk, Dr. Tony Biglan, Ph.D., says, “You don’t need to go into detail.” You can just give a short,
honest answer like these:
“When I was a kid I took drugs because some of my friends did. I thought I needed to in order to fit in.
We didn’t know as much as we do now about all the bad things that can happen when you smoke
marijuana or use other drugs. If I’d know then about the consequences, I never would have
tried drugs, and I’ll do everything I can to help you keep away from them.”
“Everybody makes mistakes. When I used drugs, I made a big one. I’m telling you
about this, even though it’s embarrassing, because I love you and I want to save you
from making the same stupid decision I made when I was your age.”
“I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored and wanted to take
some risks, but I soon found out that I couldn’t control the risks — the loss of trust of my
parents and friends. There are much better ways of challenging
yourself than doing drugs.”
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