Column from parenting expert, Alison Birnbaum

Family therapist and mother of two, Alison Birnbaum, LCSW, provides insight and advice on connecting with your teen.

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Has your teen ever been drunk?

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Action Items: Phase One

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Want to know more about the influences and pressures your teen faces? Dive into his or her world by completing one or more of these fun, but insightful, tasks.

• Go to www.youtube.com and type in “marijuana” AND “smoking” in the search bar at the top. Watch some of the videos your teen might be viewing. Did you know that your teen may be exposed to these videos?
• Can you figure out the common text-messaging lingo below? Try to decipher these words or phrases and then ask your teen if you got them right. To keep up-to-date on what your teen is “saying,” visit www.netlingo.com for the latest IM/testing lingo you should know as a parent.



• Some of the hottest music teens listen to today is about drug use or other risky behaviors. Here’s where you can check out music lyrics that are streaming into teens’ headphones: music.yahoo.com/lyrics . Which songs/artists does your teen listen to and have you talked to him/her about what the lyrics mean?
• Have a look at some of today’s hottest video games by visiting http://www.gamespot.com/misc/top100_pop.html. Then, find out if your teen is familiar with them or plays any of them. Have you noticed any violence, drug, or alcohol references, and do you feel they are age-appropriate games? Do you know the rating system? If not, go to www.esrb.org/ratings for more information.
• Go to www.youtube.com and type in “huffing” in the search bar at the top. Do you know what huffing is, or do think your teen has ever come across these kinds of videos?
• Try observing teens your child’s age. One way to do that is to visit a mall near you on a Friday or Saturday night and spend some time at the food court or near the movies. Notice their behavior; listen to their conversations. Do you think your teen behaves this way when you’re not there?

All done? Are you feeling more tuned in? We hope so!

TheAntiDrug.com now encourages you to do two more things. First, share what you have learned with other parents in the Parent-to-Parent forum. Not only do you have an opportunity to share your own findings, but you can read postings from other parents about what insights they have gained by doing the Action Items.

Second, try our next set of Action Items. Learning about your teen’s world is a process, and the more time you give to understanding it, the better you’ll be able to communicate with your child.