Be their lawyer.  No matter what they do, defend them.  Be their advocate…right or wrong.

Be their banker.  Finance all their wants.  This will give them a sense of entitlement, which will last them for the rest of their lives.

Be their insurance company.  Any time they make a mistake, you pay the price.  They have the party…you have the hangover.

Be their agent.  Cut the best deal for them.  Use your personal contacts and influence to be sure that they rise to the top.

Be their mechanic.  If anything in their life is broken, you fix it…even if they broke it themselves.  That way they will never have to learn about “consequences.”

Be their administrative assistant.  Every child needs a personal secretary.  Be sure to let them delegate their responsibilities to you.  Always do their homework for them…that way they can make the “Honor Roll.”

Be their butler.  Learning how to manage servants will be important as they grow up and become successful.  Let them start with you.

Be their apologist.  Put your best “spin” forward.  Make excuses for their bad behavior. Blame the teacher, the school, the community, the Republicans, the Democrats…anybody, but your child. 

Be their emotional doormat.  They have a bad day and you pay the price.  They want respect from everyone, but refuse to give it to you.

Be their fairy godparent.  Turn pumpkins into coaches.  Wave your wand and make it happen.  After all, making them “happy” is your primary function in life.

Fail to share your belief system with your child.  They will have a system of belief.  The question becomes who will teach it to them and what will it be.  People act out of what they believe…in their hearts.  The difference between Hitler and Mother Theresa was a matter of belief.  Like the song from the musical South Pacific says, “You Have To Be Carefully Taught.”