Order "The Teen Years: A Road Map for Parents" Want to share information on this site with other parents? Order this CD-ROM here>>
 

Click Here>>

CONVERSATIONS FOR PARENTS

"Can You Hear Me Now? Setting Limits on Cell Phone Use"

A mother and father talk to their daughter about setting some limits on her cell phone use. Advice on setting rules and guidelines around cell phone use.

What the Experts Say

What do parents need to think about when they set limits on their teen’s cell phone use? Here are some tips:

• Some schools completely restrict the use of cell phones.  Know what the rules are at your teen’s school. 
• Cell phones make it easier for parents to stay in touch with their kids and often provide some peace of mind.  But, many teens admit using their cell phones to deceive parents about their whereabouts. When possible, require your teen to use a land line so you can confirm that your teen is where he said he’d be.
• Require your teens to answer the phone when you call. If they don’t, they will lose privileges.
• Some phones come with GPS technology that allows you to track the user’s whereabouts, often at additional cost.
• Ideally, sit down with your teen to lay out rules and limits before you purchase a phone. Be explicit about how much they can use the phone (how many minutes per day) and where/when they’re allowed to use it.
• Give your teen some accountability. For example, you can pay for the basic package, but make your teen responsible for extras, overages and roaming fees.
• Other rules to consider:  No inappropriate pictures, no cyber-bullying, no pranks, and no using text messaging to cheat at school.
• To minimize the risk of traffic crashes, forbid cell phone use while driving.
• Wondering if your child is ready for a phone? The right age depends on the responsibility and maturity of your child. Many parents feel the time is right when their kids start spending more time on their own, away from the family.

If you’re unsure if your child is ready for the responsibility of a personal cell phone, start with a family phone that can be loaned out for specific periods of time.

After much nagging from their teenage daughter, Marisa, her parents agreed to get her a cell phone. Now that Marisa has had the phone for a couple of months, it seems to be permanently attached to her ear, and the bills have had huge overages. Her parents realize they need to set some limits.

DAD:  Marisa, we need to talk about your cell phone use. The bills have been astronomical, and it seems like you’re on the phone all the time.

MARISA:  What’s the point of having it if I can’t even use it?

DAD:  That’s not what we’re trying to say. We’re just saying that there need to be some limits.

MOM:  The main reason we agreed to the phone in the first place was to make it easier for us to stay in touch with you. But you’re going way over your minutes each month because you’re spending hours on the phone with your friends and sending text messages.

MARISA:  It’s the easiest way for me to keep in touch with my friends. Sometimes we’re talking about homework and stuff.

MOM:  Well, the fact is that the bills are just too high. From this point on, you’ll be responsible for paying any overages. You wanted the phone so you need to take responsibility for it.

 
MARISA:  Fine.

MOM:  This should be a good learning opportunity for you when it comes to managing a budget. We’ll allow you a specific number of minutes but you’ll have to cover anything extra, out of your allowance. We’ll sit down with you each month and go over the bill together.

MARISA: Okay. Is that it?

DAD:  We’re also concerned that there have been times when we’ve tried to reach you on the phone and you don’t answer. That’s the whole purpose for the phone.  I don’t want you avoiding our calls. If you don’t pick up when we call, that might mean a loss of privileges.

MOM:  We also want to be clear that your priority should be homework and chores first. If those are finished, then you can talk on the phone.

MARISA:  Alright.