Teen Driver Safety
Q&A with Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg
Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, an adolescent medicine specialist at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, is a member of the research team exploring teen driving at The Hospital's Center for Injury Research and Prevention 
. Dr. Ginsburg is also the author of "A Parent's Guide to Building Resilience in Children and Teens" published by The American Academy of Pediatrics.
Questions:
- My daughter’s date is driving their group of friends on prom night. What can I say to enforce the no drugs, drinking, or texting rules on that night?
- My daughter is only 15, so she is usually catching rides with older friends who have a carload of teen passengers. How do I ensure they are safe drivers?
- I want to draw up a driving contract for my teen to ensure he earns the keys to the car – for special occasions like prom and graduation as well as everyday use. What points should it include?
- Now that my teen has her driver’s license, I don’t have that extra time with her in the car on the way to school and practice to check in and chat. How can I still stay connected to her without intruding?
- My teen always has his phone in hand and is usually texting his friends. How do I ensure he is not texting and driving at the same time?
1. My daughter’s date is driving their group of friends on prom night. What can I say to enforce the no drugs, drinking, or texting rules on that night?
We know that enforcing the rules is only part of the battle. It also matters that your daughter hears your messages clearly, chooses to follow them, and even tells you when problems come up. That is why it’s so important that you clearly inform her about these dangers, and model safe behaviors yourself. You lose your right to tell her not to text while driving if you’re always using a cell phone while driving.
Although it may not always seem that way, what you say and think really does matter to your teen. Even though your daughter may want to do the right thing, she still may have to overcome the pressure to fit in with kids who are not showing good judgment. I believe that young people are less likely to forget what they know is right if they hear their parents voices loudly in their head as they are making decisions. In this case, your daughter can influence other kids in the car to avoid unsafe behaviors and keep the car calm, even on prom night, because out-of-hand passengers are a very dangerous distraction.
If we parents really want to have influence, we must move beyond telling teenagers what not to do, we must also tell them what to do if they find themselves in a tough spot. We want kids to always know they can save face by turning to us. Here are two ideas that give your daughter the tools to do the right thing, on prom night and on every other night as well. First, never, ever, forget to check in with your daughter before she turns in for the night. The “Check-in Rule” reminds her of your steady presence. But more than that, it allows her to turn to her friends who are suggesting she takes a drink and say, “Are you kidding my mom smells me before bed!” That can take a lot of pressure off of her. Next, set up a code word just between you, your spouse, and her. She should have a word or two to subtly communicate, ‘I am in trouble, get me out of here.’ If you hear those words, figure out a way to become a safe way home – no questions asked, and no punishments, just praise for doing the right thing.
2. My daughter is only 15, so she is usually catching rides with older friends who have a carload of teen passengers. How do I ensure they are safe drivers?
Your daughter may not like my response here, but the truth is that inexperienced drivers should not have teen passengers. The alarming fact is that a 16- or 17-year-old driver’s fatal crash risk doubles with one teen passenger and increases three to five times with two or more teen passengers in the car.1 This isn’t about kids being “bad” or being “unsafe drivers” — it is about inexperience. An inexperienced driver needs to focus all attention on the road, and passengers are a big distraction.
So, your daughter’s best bet is to not get in the car at all. But if she does find herself in a car with a new teen driver, she has to know to always wear a seatbelt – even in the back seat – and to do everything she can to keep the drive calm. Cars are a great place for teens to get away from adults, but they need to learn they are the worst place to act out.
3. I want to draw up a driving contract for my teen to ensure he earns the keys to the car – for special occasions like prom and graduation as well as everyday use. What points should it include?
An initial step is sitting down with your teen and signing the SADD Contract for Life to tackle intoxicated driving. You can add a code word to this contract to make it even easier for your teen to call you without losing face.
Your parent-teen agreement should be designed so that your teen gets greater driving privileges as he gains experience, and demonstrates growing skills and responsibility. The agreement works best when you don’t grant too many privileges at once: instead, it’s best to gradually phase them in to keep your teen’s risk low.
The parent-teen agreement should include the following elements:
- A limit on passengers under 18
- A limit on night-time driving
- Rules with clear, stated consequences on seat belts, speeding, cell phone use and texting, and intoxicated driving
- Rules about knowing where your teen is going, with whom, and when he will be back. Add an understanding of what to do if plans change.
Remember to discuss the consequences for breaking any part of the agreement and to have an open discussion about why these rules are being put into place. If teens think this is about controlling them, they will figure out ways to get around the rules. If they understand that parents make these rules because we care for their safety, they will want to do the right thing to keep themselves and their friends safe. The car is a great place for teens to demonstrate the responsibility that earns them privileges in and out of the car.
4. Now that my teen has her driver’s license, I don’t have that extra time with her in the car on the way to school and practice to check in and chat. How can I still stay connected to her without intruding?
The car was a great place to have a “captured” audience. This is just one more painful step of letting go, but trust that in the long run you can transition into a strong interdependent relationship. Make it a habit to have a set time to check in, such as mealtimes. This isn’t always easy. The truth is that parents of older teens need to learn to be on their child’s clock sometimes. The same teen who acts like you are not needed one week will turn to you in tears seeking guidance the next.
When your teen does reach out, don’t feel as if you always need to have the perfect response. Especially for older teens, parents are at their very best when they listen with an open mind and act as sounding boards. When you listen fully and withhold the impulse to fix everything, you give your child the gift of letting her figure things out on her own.
5. My teen always has his phone in hand and is usually texting his friends. How do I ensure he is not texting and driving at the same time?
It doesn’t matter how good a texter he is (he’ll use that line on you!) — texting while driving is a dangerous distraction.
My answer is similar to what I would say about intoxicated driving. It has to be about more than enforcing the rules. It is critical that you clearly inform him about the danger, and model the right behaviors yourself. From his point of view he can text a paragraph as easily as you can push the buttons on a cell phone to dial a number. He might be right. You really lose the legitimate right to tell him not to text if you talk on a cell phone while driving.
Let him know that a driver who is talking on a cell phone (with or without a hands-free device) is four times more likely to be involved in a serious crash. The crash data are not in yet for texting and driving, but the evidence is building that the consequences are severe. We do know that it is common practice: In a recent survey, 36% of teens admitted to texting while driving. Tell your son that you care so much about his safety that you will take away driving privileges if he ever texts while driving. You don’t even have to tell him to commit the ultimate sin of adolescence — being out of touch with his friends. You know how important his friends are to him. If he needs to get back to them quickly, insist that he pull over first.
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