My Kid is Smoking Pot
Ask the Experts
My son has started hanging out with his cousin a lot over the last few months and his grades
have fallen this year. He and his cousin are juniors in high school. My son and I have always had an open
dialogue about drugs, sex, etc. Whenever I have asked him about pot, he has adamantly said he does not smoke
it. His cousin's father, my brother-in-law, called me last night and said he found pot in his son's car and
that he believes my son has been smoking it with his son. How do I approach this with my son when I haven't
actually caught him or found anything myself? And what would be the next step in future prevention?
Dear Parent,
You are so right to be concerned about your son. What can you do now?
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Take a look at this Web site to find symptoms of marijuana use,
particularly the page "Truth About Marijuana." I heard about a wonderful mother of four teen boys who met her children at curfew
time under a bright porch light so that she could take a good look at them to see (and smell!) if they'd
been smoking or drinking. Although kids complain about being watched, on a deeper level they experience our
watching as caring. |
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Have a conversation with your son about the drugs found by your brother-in-law. First, listen to your son.
What is he thinking or doing about his cousin's problem? Does he share your perspective that this is a problem?
However, the fact that his cousin is using marijuana (even IF your son is not) is enough reason to limit time
spent with his cousin. Drug treatment programs around the country have proven that hanging out with drug users
is a predictor of whether kids will choose to do drugs too. |
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Whether or not your son is using drugs, something is negatively affecting him. Now is the time to explore why
his grades have fallen and what you both can do about it. Your son needs to be pulled back into his own individual
life, and he needs your help to do so. |
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Your "open dialogue" has broken down. Even if he is telling the truth, he has shown very poor judgment. He was
driving with an illegal substance in the car. His cousin/friend was using this substance (while driving?) and endangering
both of them. He is only a high school junior, he is new to these responsibilities and he needs more structure around his
unsupervised time. He has signaled this need for structure by showing you that he is too young to make decisions on his own.
Drugs are illegal and tragedies occur when kids use drugs and drive. |
Alison Birnbaum is a Licensed Certified Social Worker who is a parenting expert in the National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign. She has a private practice in New Canaan, CT.
Parenting is tough. You want to do what's right for your child but you don't always know what that is. Need some advice? Ask the expert.
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