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"Be aware. Kids can get any drug they want. You can’t keep them away from it, but you can inform them of it before they see it."
— Anonymous teen
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Dealing With the Problem as a Family
Recognizing and dealing with a drug
or alcohol problem will undoubtedly require the entire family’s attention and participation in solving
the crisis. This is a time for families to band together without judgment
and work toward the best solution for the entire family. At this point,
everyone’s emotions are certainly high. The family unit has most
likely already experienced disruption by the behavior of the substance-using
teen. Some family members will most likely be very angry with the user’s
behavior. The goal here is to gather the forces to acknowledge the problem,
address the problem, and work toward a solution for the entire family.
 Acknowledge the Problem
This is the time to speak with key family members and let them know that
your teen has a drug problem. Be honest, open, and simple in your approach.
There is no need to go into extraordinary detail: a straightforward
statement of the problem is sufficient. Be clear on what you need from
them: support, understanding, a non-judgmental attitude, as well as
any other specifics you think are necessary to get your point across.
Assess the Problem
The goal here is to find out what your options are. Does your teen need
help from a professional? Is there a trusted teacher, school counselor,
family doctor, or faith leader that you can turn to for advice? Should
your teen go to a treatment center? What resources do you need to ensure
that your teen stops using drugs or alcohol? Are you aware of the resources
in your community such as drug prevention coalitions? Be sure that
your assessment of the problem includes checking in at several points
to ensure that you are not covering it up and denying its existence.
 Work Toward a Solution
This is where you make a plan of action. You have gathered the information
and recognize you have a problem; you have learned how to handle the
problem; now you must decide on an action plan that works for you and
your family. Put your plan in writing — it will help you in the
future to be clear about the direction you are taking. Engage your
child in developing the plan. Help your teen become responsible for
his/her actions by participating in the rule-making process. Many families
develop a contract that both parents and children sign. The symbolism
of signing a contract gives both parties a heightened sense of commitment
to the process.
For specific tips on starting conversation with your teen and what
to say to your whole family, read more
here.
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